If A Whisper Doesn’t Work, Maybe A Scream Will

As I am sure most can relate, there are things I know I need to do but  tend to put off doing them  in hopes I can buy myself more time.  I am speaking of what my body has been telling me….and what my soul has been telling me….but I have not been listening enough.

Knowing I needed to slow down physically was not enough.  I would see people around me doing more than I do so it was easy to justify my continued pushing. I did decrease my energy output/exercise routine significantly, but it was apparently too little too late.  Now my back is saying it will NOT be ignored.  I feel like it whispered to me through low back pain – I tried to respect my body by stopping certain stretches I thought exacerbated the pain (back bends especially), and I also decreased my mileage with running as I knew I needed to switch things up. My body needed something other than pounding on pavement – so I walked more and  practiced yoga more consistently.

Pushing pretty hard at this point….coming back to bite me now! 🙁

I remember my brother Tom telling me to slow down and not wait til my body was screaming like his was. He has been an avid runner for years and ended up needing hip replacement and having knee and back problems as well. His words have been fresh in my mind since that time a few years ago and definitely served as motivation to slow down as I spoke of above. Apparently it was not enough though as  my body is now screaming at me. My back pain is more like sciatica and I have several disc issues which Osteopathic Manipulative Treatment did not touch and my very qualified and gifted PT has not been able to help either.  I am now awaiting an appointment with a surgeon but am truly hoping it does not come down to that.

I speak of this because it is impacting my every day. The things I love to do most – running, yoga, hiking, baking, cooking and yes – even cleaning – are all painful for me.  Despite  doing less, I feel more tired than I have in a long time.  However, I deeply believe all things happen for a reason and there is a lesson in this for me. (I seem to be getting a lot of lessons lately and am feeling like I must be a terribly slow learner ;)). Maybe this is so I slow down and listen to the whispers of my soul…maybe my body needs to heal more than I realized…maybe I need to take care of me more in different or new ways that do not always involve physical activity. I have started reading more  novels – this is something I rarely do as I tend to be tired by the time I go to bed, used to feel guilty reading a novel when there is a pile of parenting/work related/spiritual books on my bookshelf – so I would read a page or 2 of those and fall asleep.  It feels like a luxury to read for fun. And I know the joy I get will decrease my stress and therefore improve my pain levels.

Slowing down has allowed me time to sit and enjoy this Thanksgiving cactus

Are there ways that your body is whispering or even screaming for you to hear?  Is there something your soul needs that you have been ignoring. If so, take a moment and in the quiet, listen for the messages. Sometimes they are more clear than others…but they are always there. And those messages ALWAYS feed the love <3

Many Blessings

Suzanne