My long time mentor and my spiritual teacher both teach this concept….it is simple yet powerful. I chose to name this space Feeding Love because it is a simple phrase that so quickly reminds me of what I need to do to in day to day struggles in order to shift more quickly. What it boils down to is that there are two energies in the universe – love and fear. All of the feelings we try to avoid or that feel negative – ie- anger, loneliness, sadness, jealousy, frustration….they all fall in the fear category. And all of the feelings we want more of – ie joy, excitement, connection, hope…they fall in the love category. So while we need to honor and respect the whole range of emotions, we do get to choose which ones we are going to water or feed. Like everything else in life, it is about balance. We can learn to acknowledge and accept our feelings, giving them some space…but not indulging in them when they bring us down a dark road. We can give time to say, sadness and then say – ok- now I am going to choose to feed love.
We can shift from the darker emotions in a myriad of ways – some therapeutic techniques, moving our bodies which will shift our energy, talking with a friend, distracting with a book or movie, identifying 3 things we are grateful for…music (one of the fastest ways to shift our vibration/energy/mood)….and if you are like me(- a slow learner 😉 – you can do this over and over until your psyche finally agrees to release that thought/emotion which is coming from a fear space.
I think real life examples help bring concepts like this to life. I have been having a lot of shifting recently as I am dealing with my boyz and the college application process. For example – we had a ‘panic moment’ when we realized we did not send the SAT scores to one of the schools that Casey applied Early Action to. I went into fear mode ‘oh no, now they will not accept him…this will not look good for him….he will not find out early now after working so hard to get his application in on time…how could we miss this?’…and on and on. I am aware I need to have a little bit of time in this space – I cannot go right to solution mode, ‘it will be ok’ mode, ‘it is not catastrophic’ mode until I have a little bit of feeling space for panic or fear. I was not there long however before I was able to hear my own words ‘this will not make or break his college career or choices’, ‘this is not worth ruining my night of being with my family over’, and when my brain wanted to go back to the fear thoughts I very consciously blocked that pathway. I also have a regular gratitude practice which helps me before I go to bed so that I am thinking of the positive parts of the day and therefore ‘feeding love’ as I sleep.
Ultimately we need to honor what we are feeling – there is no right or wrong…no ‘shoulds’ with feelings. Whatever is coming up is there for a reason and can teach you something about yourself. Yet we can choose how we deal with that emotion, whether we let it run wild and take over our mood, quality of life for the day (week…month…) or whether we thank it for showing up and teaching us and then make that conscious choice for love.